Odetta

My husband abandoned our home, leaving me with four young children. He wounded me emotionally when he came to see the child after I had just given birth, he spat in her face simply because she was a girl. He said, “There are countries where they kill girls at birth.”

My family also had conflicts. My paternal relatives killed and looted cows from my maternal family during the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi. Even though they later compensated for the cows, it caused lasting tension and sorrow in our family.

When I was 17,  four young men stripped me and attempted to rape me. As I grew older, I was tormented seeing them become church leaders, even though none ever apologized to me.

I was further devastated when a young man raped my son. I cared for him for a long time in the hospital, and it left him with a permanent disability. Then my daughter gave birth at home at a young age, and I thought to myself: since I was 15, I’ve never truly had a good life. All of this made me reject God and  myself.

Because of all these wounds, I fell into depression and isolation. My eyes were always red from sleepless nights. I had chronic headaches and stomach ulcers from stress. I was overwhelmed with anger and I took it out on my children. I remember when I found my daughter talking to her father on the phone, and I yelled at her so harshly that I felt like smashing the phone.

After joining the Healing Circles, it felt like I came back from the dead. I rebuilt peace in my heart, regained hope for life, started sleeping again after years, and healed my eyes and stomach. When we shared our life stories using the “Tree of Life”, I realized I wasn’t the only one suffering in the world as I had thought. The BBM healing exercises helped me. I especially loved the body tapping exercise. It felt like it released the tension I had carried in my body for years.

Now I have a plan to buy land and cows, because I’ve found hope in life again.  This group gave me the confidence to live again. I ask that this program be extended to everyone in Rwanda.